Dating has a Function

        By Susan Browing Pogany

        Dating is time spent together on a casual, friendly level - without sex. Dating has an important function. It helps you learn about yourself, your needs, what kind of person you get along best with, what you want from a relationship, and what you have to offer a partner. You need this discovery process to build a foundation for adult relationships. When teens move on to sex and sidestep the process of dating, they are risking their chance to really get to know their partner. Just because they're having sex doesn't mean they can communicate maturely. And it doesn't mean they've learned to handle sex in a mature way. Dating a number of partners over many years helps give you that maturity.

        Sex is the most intimate from of contact. why share something so intimate when the two of you haven't yet explored each other deepest thoughts and feelings over a long period? Sex is not the way to get to know someone better.

       How sad to be in a sexual relationship and realize, "We don't really have much to say to each other."

       Samantha, seventeen, explains, "I thought I was so ready to find someone to love that I could have this passionate, sexual relationship with. I just had a feeling that it would make me mature, and I thought it would really mean something to feel so loved by another person. But it didn't turn out that way. I ended up sleeping with this guy, Ben, whom I'd had a crush on since freshman year. It happened at a party at my friend Ellie's house when her folks were away. I was sure it was the start of something between us, which is what I wanted, but at school the next week he didn't even want to talk to me. I felt like the worst sleaze. And I was so scared I was pregnant."   (Sex Smart)